Teaching our kids to be proactive.

School is back in session in many places and along with a post I recently saw, it has me thinking about our kids and their emotional states.

I parent with a lens of responsibility - I don't just parent with the present moment in mind but also with the kids habits and futures in mind, the consequences of behaviors but most importantly - to help them manage - so they have less stress in their lives.  Things I have learned the hard way over time.   Some stress is preventable completely based on our choices!  Many divorced parents see and parent through a lens of love, and in my own experience, the bio parents don't consider the consequences enough to engage or enforce their kids to do things in a timely manner.  What do I mean?  A good example is homework and grade cards.  If the bio parents don't routinely ask what the child has going on homework wise until they see their child's bad grades or even zeros on the grade card?  This is a reactive measure versus a proactive measure and in my opinion, not only fails the child in the moment, but their future as well.   It creates unnecessary stress and chaos for the children.  Some parents argue that the kids have to learn on their own.  I agree with that for the most part but we have to teach the kids at a young age how to do these tasks.  I didn't always agree on how much homework the children had but I didn't see it as damaging to them or too difficult to do.  What I did see was the kids needed to develop good skills to do their homework effectively and timely so they were prepared for class.

Being proactive encourages and enforces the child to learn healthy habits of staying current and being responsible and accountable at school, in the home, or wherever they may be.  Everyone knows that being organized helps in positive ways.  It will be beneficial when the kids are finished with high school and move on if they chose to attend college.  If they choose to go straight into the workforce, the prep skills from their childhood will become useful as their prepare their resume or their job interview.  The point is teaching these skills do not take away from your child's childhood - you teach them appropriate skills at their age level and each stage of their development.  Picking up their toys when they are toddlers.  Learning to pick weather appropriate clothing when they start attending school.   Learning can be fun.  How?  YOU!  Parents set the tone on nearly every aspect of their child's perspectives.  Teaching them while having fun is a great way to bond and enjoy time together all while unbeknownst to them, preparing them for daily life as they grow.

Love,

The Straight Up Stepmom