So well then, what's the problem?

The other day a fellow Stepmom reached out to me about a collaboration and mentioned my neglected blog.  While I have continued to post my insta straight up snippets, the follow-through full feature blog has been stalled. 
No time you ask? 
Nope, I have the time.
So well then, what's the problem? 

Stepmom depression and anxiety along with the physical effects: fibromyalgia and migraines.  I haven't talked much about this personally.  I've seen how some use it as a crutch and exploit it.  That isnt saying they aren't experiencing it because I believe they are but I also believe they use it manipulatively. 

I have ignored mine too long and that needs to change.

In her book Stepmonster, Wednesday Martin devotes an entire section to risk factors and depression among stepmoms.  She discusses the commonality of depression in women with stepchildren and "stepmothering is the perfect storm for depression".  The risk factors are:

1) Isolation and Alienation
2) Rumination
3) Overcompensation (need to fix the family     dynamics)
4) Dis-empowering double standards
5) Punching bag syndrome
6) Unsupportive husbands
7) Professional bias and bad advice
8) Relational tendancies. 

Most of us have experienced many if not all is these issues. It pains me that many husbands aren't supportive.  I think it's a mix of denial, ignorance, pride and ego - this is an explanation, not an excuse. I love my husband but in the last couple years I've been stepping back and in recent months, completely.  The allogations of being confrontational because I reacted when normal, reasonable expectations were not only ignored but completely dismissed in my home was not something that suddenly happened.  It's been a failing family dynamic for years.  Simply stating, what he's been doing just isn't working.  It saddens me because he IS a good Dad who genuinely loves his children and has sacrificed so much. 

At this point I'm in self preservation mode.  I'm praying, hopeful that things will get better.  Things must change. 

In the meantime, I'll be continuing my growth in truth, faith and self love.  Please do the samething for yourself, fellow stepmom.

The Straight Up Stepmom.