Another Birthday....

I'll admit.  It hurts. 

I just hit a major *milestone* birthday.  I got private, simple "happy birthdays" via text messages from my steps. 

Every year, my step kids post amazing accolades to their mom all over various social media platforms on her birthday.   She's their best friend.... does so much for them.... yada yada yada blah blah blah.

My husband tried to "compensate" but he's part of, if not the biggest, problem. He always tells me I'm the problem.  I'm too hard on them, quick to judge, hold a grudge, I'm mean, on and on and on.   But he sets the tone.  He won't back me up, he won't see things from my perspective.

None of my husband's family acknowledged it either, except my mother in law.  Of course his family (sisters, brother) are "friends" with his ex.  They had a "re-unification" a few years back and since then I've had to cut them out from my life.

My husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. 
Seriously!?  LISTEN TO ME. HEAR ME.
I've told him over and over what I wanted.  Talk with me about what's on my heart.  I'm not imagining this stuff.  Read Stepmonster.  Read The StepMoms Club.   He has refused.   He says he wants me to me happy.   The best gift he could give me and make me happy is to stop parenting from the perspective of a hurt, child of divorce and as a guilt-ridden parent.

Until then I'll have to create my own party for one.